Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Multicultural Night

Here I am ...just finished eating some homemade veggie fajitas and now I'm having some Sammy Hagar Tequila but i can't help but think Japanese cuz my Astro-Sex-Lube is loaded with Wasabi...

Anyway here is something I wish I had thought of...Air Sex. It's not the Mile High club but just as fun (or so it seems)

Japan's air sex world champion licks himself into shape

Japan has recently claimed the world air guitar championship, but Weekly Playboy (10/2) notes that less well known is that Japan already had a world champ in another virtual sport -- air sex!

Just like air guitar it pits competitors prancing around on stage empty handed but acting as though they were playing a hot riff, air sex requires players to simulate sauciness as though with a partner, but actually while alone.

"Air sex was originally invented by guys who couldn't get girlfriends, but desperately want to have sex," J-Taro Sugisaku, the self-professed creator of air sex, tells Weekly Playboy.

Sugimura tells the weekly that air sex began when a mostly male group gathered at a theater in the trendy Tokyo district of Shimo Kitazawa earlier this year. They began talking about sex techniques, then started demonstrating them. Soon, a competition developed to come up with the most outrageous display of faked fornication.

"You must be warned, though... air sex can be very dangerous," Sugisaku says. "Normally what happens with a display is that you perform the same way you normally would when having sex. I've seen guys who put on air sex shows that clearly display they're still virgins. I've also seen other guys perform such incredibly authentic fake fellatio that nobody has been left in any doubt that they could only be bisexual. Let me reiterate: Air sex can be dangerous."

Hahahahaa dangerous???

Tuesday, April 24, 2007


Hi dear readers,

Another post?? Wow...only a month after the last one, can you stand it??

As I mentioned in my previous post I took on a new job. Some would say it was a bad move, this new job pays a little less that the last, it has work hours that are erratic and far from the normal 9 to 5 so to some people I made a bad decision. Not that anyone really says this to my face but how many times do I have to hear "so, do you like your new job?" from the same people to know what they are getting at. Do they truly care how I am doing?? I'm not sure.

I am kind of getting sick of it.

I think they are actually looking for some kind of bitter schadenfraude against me. I don't know why they would want to be able to smirk and say "man, you really should have stayed where you were, that was a really dumb decision", but that's what seems to be happening. Is it so they feel better about themselves? Do they have some scorn against me?


A couple of things:

-I like this new job.
-I enjoy the interaction with customers and employees.
-I am learning new skills
-I actually have a chance of advancement
-there are benefits, pension plans and RRSP plans

But there is one huge change that i did not anticipate and one that i am not sure is real or imagined....

With the Old Job I always had a sore back. It had become an affliction to which i had resigned to have the rest of my life. I was someone "with a back problem". At the old job I was away from work a few days every couple of months because my back "went out" and I couldn't get out of bed or whatever. I had always just chalked it up to working too hard and too stupid. Lifting and pushing things by myself that needed two people was sometimes required to get a job done because boss refused to hire capable help and i paid for it with sharp pains in my lower back.

But i feel great...i work harder at this new job. i'm on my feet for 8 hours at a time and I feel better than i did when i sat on my ass for 8 hours in front a computer. Sure there were those times when I was doing strenuous physical labour but they were sometimes weeks apart and only for a few hours at a time.

I haven't said anything to anyone for a month...the length of current employment...just to make sure it wasn't a fluke. I talked to my doctor as well as some other physio people and they seem to agree that my back problems were probably due to stress.



Honestly I ever felt stress in THAT job....not until the final few months...but now that i look back, an ineffective boss who refuses to communicate, makes idiotic decisions that would potentially cause unnecessary problems for workers sure can build a harmful burden of stress.

I think i now why people want to see my miserable...they are miserable themselves because they don't have the guts to leave their terrible jobs and they are jealous that i DO have the guts. i am proud of myself that i could see past the paycheck, i am proud of the fact that i am pretty adaptable, allowing me to successfully find work in different fields and excel.

Some would say that I have no purpose and no direction. Personally i like the fact that i am not chained to one single line of work. It's that old joke with me, I still don't know what i want to do when I grow up.

Sorry to vent..more fun stuff will come in the future

Friday, March 09, 2007

Lots going on...whew!

Yeah yeah...once again I have neglected my Blog. I suck!

But alot has happened in the past few weeks:

1. I resigned from my job
2.I had my 35th birthday
3. I bought a MAC!!!!!!

About the job - um, yeah, lots of people are saying "what? are you crazy, don't you know there's no jobs out there? It's dog eat dog."

Well I had had enough with a terrible boss and just felt that i couldn't make him anymore money. It was simple, it was easy and it felt good to hand a neatly worded resignation letter and watch him flip and flop like a boated fish. "but, can't leave...oh well I have someone to replace you anyway" ...jerk

Also I got a better job right away with very little effort. A job that was actually created especially for me and one where they seem to genuinely want me there.

Anyway it's all more short notice work travel, no more short notice working til 3am and then getting up at 7 for another 8 hour shift. No more being taken for granted.

The stress is lifted and I feel good. Monday I start a new job.

Birthday stuff? not much happens when you turn 35 except that you get older. Pamer's Wife and I met up with some friends for sushi and beer and good conversation. It was fun. Pamer's wife is also taking me to see the movie '300' on Friday so I am as giddy as a school boy.

Now the wasn't such a hard decision. I needed a new laptop and was pretty much set on a PC. Then all this stuff comes out about how much trouble people are having with the new Vista operating system.

So, since I used MACs at work I went out and picked out a nice black one, they delivere din two days and all is well. It's cool...oh and if anyone has some cool Mac programs, let me know.

That's it for now. John Stewart is on now...apparently we change our clocks back this weekend?!? 3 weeks earlier than normal. Make sure your computer clocks are changed or else it will be "Total A-clock-alypse!!!!"

be cool y'all

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Back...from Frozen Florida

Yep, Pamer's Wife and I are back from our holiday in the sun and let's just say it was an adventure.

Oh tans over here.

We did have some "Thank Gods" though:

-Thank God mama thought to reserve three rental cars so that we could all do our own thing.
-Thank God mama rented us this giant house so that we all had our own wing complete with bathroom and cable TV.
-and Thank God it wasn't hot or sunny, cuz God knows Pamer don't need no time int he sun. He don't need to relax and gets some rays by the pool with a cocktail and a copy of Marvel Civil War...noooooo.

Disney was fun (as always) even though I got rained on for the first time in 8 outings. Magic Kingdom actually shut down some rides for fear of lightning...oh well.

We got to do some new stuff like ride the Aerosmith roller coaster (twice) at MGM studios, ride the Test Track ride at Epcot (twice), ride the Everest roller coaster at Animal Kingdom (only once) and eat a giant smoked turkey leg at Magic Kingdom (only once ) and grossing out vegetarian Pamer's Wife while eating said giant smoked turkey leg ...Hahahaha.

Oh...and even though it was pretty cold some days, i vowed to wear my shorts everyday. Dammit, I was on vacation, I'm gonna wear my shorts. You could easily pick out the like-minded hearty Canadians in the crowds. Pamer's Wife just laughed as she put on layer after layer of warm clothes...chicken!

You guys ever hear of planes having to de-ice their wings before takeoff?? Sure you have. Ever hear of them having to do it in Orlando? HA!!! Well, it was pretty frigid whenwe boarded the plane for home and the Captain informs us that there is frost ont he wing and the authorities won't let us off the ground until its gone. Since Orlando International Airport doesn't have de-icing equipment we get to move the plane into the sunshine until it melts the frost...for an hour...remember its about 48 degrees F.

It's all pretty comical when you think about it and since we've had pretty good luck over the years with vacations. I guess we were due for a less than great time.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Vacation State Of Mind


Yep that's the time we need to leave for the airport tomorrow morning to go to Florida. Damn, why so early?

The only thing that makes it ok leaving at such a god-forsaken time is that it's supposed to be -25 and snowy....and +25 in Orlando. Quite a swing in temps!!!

Ok, like I mentioned before this is a family trip...with my IN-LAWS. First time ever!! We've been married for nie on to 10 years and this part of the fam-damly has never traveled together (with me).

I am both excited and Frightened.

Excited to get out of work for a week and (hopefully) enjoy some Florida sun. Excited to go back to Disney World after 7 years and see what's new and improved. Excited to get out of work...oh yeah I said that already (did I mention that work sucks?).

Frightened because of traveling with Mom-in-law and two hyper toddlers (not mine).

Here's the itinerary as I see it unfolding:

-land in Orlando, Mom-in-law, Sis-in-Law and Wife immediately ask "where is the closest mall?"
-Guys dutifully cart women folk to mall...
-Disney (day 1)
-Disney (day 2)
-Disney (day 3)
-Disney (day4)

-now that Disney is over "what do we do now?"
-Pamer and Pamer's Wife make a bee-line to the beach

It should be fun though...i mean it's like they always say: A bad day on holidays is better than your best day at work.

Thanks to everyone who gave suggestions...frankly i would be just as happy lying on the beach and playing beach volleyball.

I will hopefully have a few pictures to post when I get back...especially the ones of me wearing my banana hammock.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Stump the Blogger

So, i recieved a request today. One from someone whom i cannot and will not ignore. My pal TInk from Pickled Beef sent out an earnest plea "Please don't make me stare at Queen Latifah's face anymore!"

First off, Tink, i'm not sure why you're staring at her, secondly, she's gorgeous which means it should be a pleasure to stare at her and thirdly I am terribly sorry you've had to stare at her for a month.

Speaking of Tink, she had a great idea last month. She asked for readers to give her ideas on what to blog about. So...I am going to steal that idea and put out the same question to my readers.

Tell me what i should tell you. What do you need to know?

I'm at a loss which has resulted in the month long sloth.

That being said I will probably have lots to talk about after next week. I am going to Orlando next week for a family vacation.

-Disney personal fav (seriously I am a Disney geek)
-Maybe Universal (i've never been)
-Seaworld (see Universal)

It'll be interesting. I've havn't been on a "family vacation" in 15 years.

But looking at the weather channel it doesn't seem that FLA weather is all that good lately....tornados aside, it seems to be colder that normal.

However I have two thoughts on this:
1. when our weather has been in the -30's for the last week anything over freezing is a pleasure
2. any day away from work is a great day

Once again gang, sorry for the lack of anything interesting to say. See you later.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Queen Latifah vs Marsha Warfield

Ahoy you lot.

Lemme get right to the point. I've been sick...Norwalk, Novo Virus whatever it was, it was bad. It's funny though, everytime someone asks me about it, the first question is always "Did you get your flu shot?"

I have two retorts to this, depending on the inquistor.

1. Well duh...If i DID get a flu shot, would I be sick? (This is predicated on the assumption that this person believes wholeheartedly in the "flu Shot" and it's wonder-drug reputation)

2. I don't believe that the flu shot is a wonder-drug therefore I never do get injected. Personally I think it's all just sugar water blended with microscopic government Nanite Robots used for manipulating or buying habits...internally...

Anyway, while I was sick I got to watch a lot of TV/Movies etc and happened to catch a bit of Caddyshack II starring the wonderfully talented Marsha Warfield and the not-so-talented Jackie Mason. Well, the plot is bad and the acting along with it, the story doesn't matter but what does is that something hit me while watching Marsha...

She always plays a strong character, forceful and witty with a fair amount of chutzpah. Am I wrong?

It dawned on me that Queen Latifah has stolen all the roles that would normally be reserved for a woman of Marsha's prowess.

So I have a new theory. Queen Latifah is the new Marsha Warfield and if they ever get around to making that long anticiapted "Night Court" movie, the Queen will play Roz (with Vin Diesel as Bull Shannon, of course)

These are the things that occupy my thoughts on Jan 8th